Well...another of my birthdays has come and gone. Nov. 17th is another occasion for me to take stock of my life and plan out my vision for the future. As always this process is based solely on the Gazette's horoscope for the day so I eagerly grabbed the paper, flipped to the appropriate page and began charting my course for the year to come. The copied text at left is a classic 
example of the astrologer's art. Cryptic yet vague this paragraph is written in terms general enough to afford significant interpretive leeway. As it's a little too late to heed the advice on incurring debt I'll have to wait till next year to begin my assault on the business world. I can only look forward to finding out exactly what will be my "long-term problem of monumental proportions"....personal bankruptcy, income tax audit, scurvy?!?! The mind boggles with the wealth of possibilities.
example of the astrologer's art. Cryptic yet vague this paragraph is written in terms general enough to afford significant interpretive leeway. As it's a little too late to heed the advice on incurring debt I'll have to wait till next year to begin my assault on the business world. I can only look forward to finding out exactly what will be my "long-term problem of monumental proportions"....personal bankruptcy, income tax audit, scurvy?!?! The mind boggles with the wealth of possibilities.The news is not all negative though; I've been instructed to avoid important decisions and extra responsibilities and this I can and will do. In fact I'll get started tomorrow because....actually I'm pretty busy tomorrow so it'll have to wait till next week......that's getting a tad too close to the holidays and what with all the fuss and bother I'm better off waiting till January....oh yeah, I'll be in Colombia for a couple of weeks so February it is...March the latest!
I'm glad the gazette astrologer recognized my diligence and sense of loyalty. They agree as I do that this can only pay big dividends at some point, perhaps a new, high paying job or maybe (just maybe) free pizza for life at Domino's!! (if only I had a free pizza for every contest entry I've mailed in over the years.
As for vacations I'm sure I'll be out to Calgary to visit GF Phyllis before next October but then again, these trips can never be characterized as carefree. Not a day goes by without slaving away at laborious maintenance and then there's the farm and house to attend to!
My beneficial project is already well into the planning stages so I'm not reluctant to let my readers know about it. It's called "Euphoniums for Eumanity" and I'll be raising funds to purchase low brass instruments for the needy with a little help from my yet-to-be-enlisted friends. I'm very excited about this and am heading into my 48th year with great anticipation all the while heeding those famous words; "Play euphonium for a man and he'll have a pleasant afternoon but teach him how to play and he'll be set for life (you may want to throw in a taxi license and some computer programming skills)"
(In lieu of birthday gifts The Blob and the Euphoniums for Eumanity Foundation will be accepting donations)
6 comments:
Blobby,
Is that a tear in my eye or is it allergies? It's allergies. But still. Your other readers haven't known you as long as I have, [35 some-odd years]
and without getting maudlin, it's hard to believe
that in 32 years you'll be 80.
Remember the time we snuck into the Jewish General and performed tracheotomies on those
Hungarians [using only a burnshing tool!]? It was
magic. Or the time you ordered everything on the menu at Blimpie's and ate each one? [sic]
Perhaps this would be a good time to tell you I think Meg White's not bad looking at all, in a sort of much-younger version of that Throw Mama
From the Train actress who played Billy Crystal's
mother.
Happy Birthday though.
Bob, I can't believe I missed your birthday. I wish I had great memories like davidboloten has with you and could bring them up to make you happy. However, there was that time on tour in Slovenia when we drank polish vodka until we spewed. That was fun. Let's do it again someday.
Happy birthday but for next year. I don't want to be late again.
Thanks for the B'day wishes and the trip down memory lane. Dave, every time I smell cauterized flesh (which smells very much like burnished flesh) I can't help but laugh remembering our hospital escapades.
Viv, that tour was certainly crazy but for obvious reasons I have little recollection of the night in question. I DO however remember waking up "sans underpants" and with Tostito crumbs where they should never be....good times!!
Happy birthday Bob! If you were here you would've taken a nice dip in the sea, followed by dinner under a palm tree...as it is though, you'll have to settle for mouse stew, sitting shotgun at the hole.
Laura in paradise
Thank you Laura,
I trust that all is well in the Turks and Caicos (love the Turks, HATE the Caicos!)and will have to settle for a rain check although upon re-reading your comment I'm not sure if it's an invitation or an itinerary. This is NOT a pedantic crtique BTW just an amused aside at the vagueries of the English language... Knowing you, your generosity and your skill in the kitchen I'll confidently assume it's an invitation.
On the mouse front I nailed another one last night and am happy to announce that it was a clean kill...nuthin' but neck.
"Put your bibs on kids, we dine tonight!!"
Hi Dixxx,
While low brass players and balneology, a science that deals with bathing, are an especially incongruous pairing I still must thank you and your organization for the fine work that you've done with the needy. Remember..." It is only by working together that we can wipe out the homeless!"
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