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Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Talk to the Hand


I feel a bit weird about doing another show biz post right on the heels of the Michael Richards story but with a great feud going on in the lower echalons of the TV world it's almost impossible to resist. I'll try to give links to all the pertinent clips so you can enjoy a good wallow. Think of The Blob as a one-stop resource center.
Where to begin, where to begin....I guess I should introduce the principle characters: 1st we have Clay Aiken, the somewhat effeminate closet case and past winner of American Idol whose sexuality remains a mystery. Next up is Kelly Ripa, the somewhat anorexic and talentless co-host of Regis and Kelly and finally we have Rosie O'Donnel, the somewhat melon-headed and bullying lesbian who succeeded Meredith Vieira on The View.
The initial incident ocurred when Clay was guest hosting for the absent Regis and he and Kelly were conducting an interview with the winners of Dancing With the Stars. The most compelling aspect of this tale is that it manages to bring together so much of what is wrong with popular TV entertainment today...a virtual nexus of mediocrity in one tidy package!
On to the plot summary: Clay and Kelly play fight a bit to start the show and then during the interview in question Kelly hogs the Mike. Clay in turn puts his hand over her mouth and she gets pissed off and makes a comment that may or may not have had allusions to his rumored gayness. The next day Kelly revisits "the incident" with Regis and blasts Clay for his lack of respect then on The View Rosie gets involved and blasts Kelly for homophobia. Kelly then phones The View live and laces into Rosie who BTW never really apologizes (they both profess their mutual love though) and inadvertantly outs Clay. (then I went and took a 45 minute shower)

7 comments:

slapper58 said...

If any of you are lucky enough to catch the confluence of ads to the left of the Clay Aiken post they are truly remarkable..Jesus, Meat Sticks, and Lube. This is my lucky day....maybe I should run and and get some Lotto tickets!

Anonymous said...

Blob -

Okay, I've watched the clips you've linked to, and in so doing, have broken my perfect record of never having seen the View, Regis and Kelly's show, and Clay Aiken in any context at all.
These all seem like dreadful people not worth
commenting on.

Thanks for ruining my streak [to be known
henceforth as "the streak"] though.

ALSO - you're having a little problem setting up your cartoon/word balloon situations ["Flavor of
the Day]. Comics read from left to right in our
culture, just like regular text. You can't have
your punchline to the left of your set up.
Naturally I'll have more to say about this later.

slapper58 said...

Thanks DB I agree about the dreadful people. I feel that every once in a while subjecting yourself to such tripe makes you a better person (I'm not at liberty to say how just yet).
The Flavor of the Day layout problem is one that we're gonna have to live with. I couldn't find a pic with the daughter on the left and figured people would just have to read it twice once they realized the left to right way made no sense. Google let's me blog for free so I accept the constraints. I suppose I could have had crossed balloons but that would have been cluttery and against cultural norms as well. C'est la vie....sorry about "the streak"

Anonymous said...

And what? - with all your photoshop expertise,
you couldn't flop the photo?

slapper58 said...

Hey Dixxx..have you not been studying your Blob transcripts?.....So...Couric goes to CBS and is replaced at NBC by Meridith Veiera (or Meridith Viagra as I call her, mmmmm) who in turn is replaced at ABC by none other than Rosie O'Donnel who as far as I can tell had been doing not too much (sept. 10 "A Look Back")

Anonymous said...

Just to disabuse you all of the notion that Blob was showering to rid himself of the unclean feeling one gets after exposing oneself to said television personalities, let me assure you the lengthy showers are meant to deal with that STREAK that david boloton is referring to. You see, its all code with the boys , and I have broken the code. ( I have also known a few streaks, oops I mean boys ..... or rather..... Damn it alll!!! back to the psyllium!

slapper58 said...

I'm not exactly sure what you're getting at beaver woman but a good hot water wash on the heavy duty cycle may help with your streak problem. Is this REALLY the proper place to discuss your underwear??