Coming to a Military Theatre Near You...

Israel Developing Bionic Arsenal Fri Nov 17, 8:31 AM
JERUSALEM (AFP) - Prime Minister Ehud Olmert has given the green light for Israel to set up a special office to develop a nanotechnology arsenal. Yediot Aharonot said that Deputy Prime Minister Shimon Peres had been told to choose 15 top thinkers to focus on developing futuristic weaponry. If their projects succeed, they will provide Israel with a response to the various threats from Palestinian rockets, suicide bombers, to long-range missiles and non-convential weapons, the newspaper said Friday.

Only months away from implementation the so called "pork bomb" uses the latest in PDT (porcine/drone technology) to accurately target enemy combatants and shower them with a fine precipitate of vaporized pork and pork by-products. Treated chemically to decay quickly the pork meal can attract a host of diseases and disable and/or distract Arab militants who may become too revolted to fight.

Israel's orthodox Schach Party has repeatedly demanded a halt to the project and has used the courts and public protest to delay it's completion. Reached at his office, spokesman Yoinl Schmulowitz voiced his displeasure; "The Israeli government shouldn't be tampering with pork....period! Couldn't they have used a nice piece of whitefish for heaven's sake? Now we're no better than the goyim. It's a shame, a tragedy, and an insult to God almighty."

The road to Middle Eastern peace, while long and tortuous, may at least soon be imbued with the sweet, sweet smell of bacon.