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Tuesday, October 10, 2006



A recent comment from Dixxx included a question about whether I was preparing a Munson's beveled ham or a turkey for Thanksgiving. He also wanted my turkey recipe.

As many of you now know Munson's has had to cease operations for the forseeable future due to an outbreak of trychinosis that followed quickly on the heels of it's E coli scare. For the unfortunate people of Lumbridge, Kentucky this is the 1st time in some 70 years (the great Botulism outbreak of 1937) that the beveling machines have fallen silent. I was afraid that our holiday dinner without the world famous angle-sliced ham would be a non-event but my Dad the vegetarian came to the rescue and supplied a large Tofurky butterball loaf. This artificially flavored, pressed soy derivative/spackling compound proved a healthy alternative to that tired, old standard; the turkey. I offered my Father the first scoop and then served up the rest to my hungry and eager family. A more grateful bunch you never did see and we all agreed that, in the absence of a Munson's Beveled Ham, nothing says "Thank you, oh Lord" better than a piping hot ball of Tofurky.

For Dixx and other interested readers I do indeed have a recipe that is guaranteed to make the juiciest and most tender bird imagineable....read on:

Turkey Ativan Style

Ingredients;

15-20 lb. turkey, cleaned and patted dry

1 bunch of fresh Italian parsley

1 carrot

1 onion

1 celery stalk

cajun spice rub

600 mg. of Ativan(or any other generic muscle relaxant) dissolved in 1 cup of melted butter

Place 1st 4 ingredients in cavity, rub exterior liberally with cajun spices, baste with Ativan/butter solution (Ed. note: if you have a flavor injector this works even better)

Cook at 325 until meat thermometer reads 175 degrees. The breast meat will be so tender you'll have to eat it with a spoon!

Thanksgiving is out of the way which means that Hannukah can't be too far off. Stay tuned for another favorite seasonal recipe "Potato Latkes a la Rommel". The Desert Fox had his own take on a holiday classic....who knew??!!??

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

On behalf of my vegetarian children, I thank you for that tantalizing description of Tofurky. I'd heard of it, but never had the nerve to try it before. Come Christmas (you know- that OTHER holiday) there won't be any happier kids on the block than my two sweeties.
It'll be the best Christmas ever. Thanks Blob! If my husband asks where I got the bright idea of switching from Turkey to Tofurky, I'll send him in the right direction. He'll want to thank you personally.

Anonymous said...

dixxx -

you've got it all wrong - you're supposed to ask
which super-power he'd rather have: invisibility,
or the ability to fly. Those who claim to prefer
flight are apparently liars.
So let's sit back and see which one he chooses.

Anonymous said...

I bet he picks flight

Anonymous said...

Dear Blob,

I am a blog virgin, please bear with me - loved the recipe and can't wait for the potato latke recipe.

Thanks for this moving experience.