You know how it goes...I post something, a couple of people find it interesting enough to send some related questions my way, and before you know it there's a whole week of Blob on the same subject. I guess it's relationship week:
MARIA CALLOUS writes:
That's great Blob, thanks for clearing all that up. But can you write a post that helps the young unmarried types feel the love? And not the kind of love she can get at the bar any time she wants. The kind of love where she can get off AND have someone do her chores for her. Any suggestions? (nothing expensive neither!)
Well Maria, that's quite the question and you are far from the first to ask it.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qhjmHioPH8&feature=related
My sources tell me that you are an attractive, intelligent young woman and the fun kind of bi-polar. You can either stay the course and wait it out or go ahead and date a much older man. There are benefits and drawbacks to either option.
If you choose to wait it out then you'll be stuck doing your own chores....guys you pick up at bars will not do this. Maybe while you're waiting you can move back in with your parents and they can do the dog walking, cooking, and cleaning for you!
The older, more grounded man will satisfy all your needs but be dead by the time you're 70 leaving you time to take that scultping class you always wanted to try and to go on a cruise. Actually there is no down side to plan B.
Anonymous in Saskatchewan writes:
Dear Blob,
I've got a strange boyfriend related problem and I'm at my wits end. Don't get me wrong, he's a wonderful guy; romantic, thoughtful, and he does chores but there's a habit of his that is driving me crazy!
We have an active and fulfilling sex life but when he has an orgasm he sort of does this spasm thing and raps me in the head with his knuckles. He swears it isn't so but it feels for all the world likes he's giving me a noogie. If that isn't bad enough he also giggles and points after he cums...this can go on for a few minutes and is extremely annoying!!
I'm being transferred from Regina to Phoenix soon (he giggles when I say either of those places as well :o( and need to know if I should just abandon ship. Thanks for your help.
Dear Anonymous,
Far from the Dickens inspired song I linked to above (Dickens...hehe!!!) you have found love but not without its complications, in this case, medical complications.
The good news is that with therapy and the proper medication your boyfriend can change his ways. I'm not a doctor but I will recommend Gravitrol, the latest in a line of sexual behaviour inhibitors that basically help men with his condition (Immature ejaculatilon) to grow up. There are some minor side effects...abnormal interest in the works of Syliva Plath and Kurt
Cobain, inappropriate philopsophical musings, staring meaningfully at inanimate objects, but all the things you are having trouble with will, in time, disappear. Best of luck!
Cobain, inappropriate philopsophical musings, staring meaningfully at inanimate objects, but all the things you are having trouble with will, in time, disappear. Best of luck!
9 comments:
He shoots... HE SCORES!! (so to speak) Blobbeleh! You are a beacon of light in the gloomy world of cyber comedy! And thank goodness you found a solution to IE. I've been getting complaints all over the place about my laughing and pointing in the sack. The guys at the bar raise their glasses to you (and who knows what else!)
Yours from the budoirs of Paris,
M.Cal
It looks like Blob's Mom isn't the only Mom who needs to do some tutoring here. Maria, Hon, budoir is spelled "boudoir" and listen to who's telling you: a poor speller but one who has spent some time in the room in question, I can tell you!
However, I thought what you had to say was succinctly put and quite amusing in a juvenile kind of way. Keep up the effort! (BTW, have you practiced your scales today? Just because you're in Paris doesn't mean you can stay in bed til noon and wander the streets searching for the best espresso and crepes all day!)
Whoa Mama!! Sounds like someone is having a bad "taking care of Maria's dog in the cold and rain while she's off galavanting about Paris and her husband is getting wasted in London with the possible, non-tactile involvement of strippers" day. Thanks for airing your exasperated laundry in public...seriously!! This is just the kind of family drama the comment section needs.
Ummm Maria,
I don't think you technically can suffer from IE. What you have is probably a terminal form of CHBS (cold-hearted bitch syndrome). There's a cure for that too but this is not the time nor the place to discuss it. Best of luck with the love thing :o)
What are you talking about, Blobbeleh? I'm having a great time walking the pooch in the pouring rain! Who wouldn't love THAT! :P
Jake McFallow,
It is getting near the end of hockey on TV, 2 games left at most. I am getting nervous, what am I going to do once the play-offs end? BTW thanks for the tip about not leaving my underwear on the kitchen table, my wife sends her thanks.
JMF
GALLIVANTING
sheesh, the spelling around here, it makes you want to run and hide
this beaver does not accept the variant
gal·li·vant also gal·a·vant (gāl'ə-vānt')
intr.v. gal·li·vant·ed also gal·a·vant·ed, gal·li·vant·ing also gal·a·vant·ing, gal·li·vants also gal·a·vants
To roam about in search of pleasure or amusement. See Synonyms at wander.
To play around amorously; flirt.
[Perhaps alteration of gallant.]
The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition
ASS·HOLE /ˈæsˌhoʊl/ Show Spelled[as-hohl] Show IPA
–nounVulgar.
1.anus.
2.Slang.
a.a stupid, mean, or contemptible person.
b.the worst part of a place or thing.
–adjective
3.Slang. stupid, mean, or contemptible.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Origin:
1350–1400; ME arshole anus; see ass2, hole
Dictionary.com Unabridged
Based on the Random House Dictionary, © Random House, Inc. 2010.
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