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Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Putting the Oompah Back in Christmas



The teachers leading the school choir -- made up of Grade 2 and 3 pupils -- have dropped the word 'Christmas' from Silver Bells and replaced it with the word "festive." So, when the choir performs tomorrow at a singalong assembly, instead of singing, "soon it will be Christmas Day," they will sing, "soon it will be a festive day."

So reports The Ottawa Citizen in what is just another example of the war on Christmas that shows no signs of letting up. This is a holiday that celebrates history's most famous Jew and I for one can no longer sit idly by. First they try to take the Christ out of Christmas and now this (from an article in the Lakeland Examiner):

The traditional and festive sound of the euphonium may well become a thing of the past in Minnesota if local commissioners have their way. Apparently the sound of hundreds of kids caroling on their majestic low brass instruments have been coaxing lonely moose out of the forest and occasionaly onto our highways leading so far to one confirmed fatality. Defiant teens have already begun playing their favorite Xmas tunes under the cover of darkness in anticipation of the draconian crackdown.

It's time to fight back and I urge people of all faiths to join me in my campaign to put the oompah back in Christmas. Buy a CD (such as the one pictured below), invite a euphoniumist over for some eggnog and have him play for you, try to smile and look grateful, avoid looking at your watch or cleaning under your fingernails. Any little gesture will help as we try to take back the holiday from the secular and anti-musical forces of evil. The poor lad in the video clip above is but a lone voice in the Godless wilderness. Close your eyes and imagine a world without that velvety euphonium sound. Would we really be better off????

5 comments:

slapper58 said...

I forgot to give a rundown of who the Wilsons are as pictured on the CD cover:
Top Row L to R:
Mike- (the dapper one)
Buddy- (clown prince of the euphonium)
Nestor- (mentally challenged assistant manager)
Harvey- (the responsible one)
Bottom row L to R:
Freida- (the fun one)
Mindy- (the cute, libidinous one)
Sylvia- (the practical one)

Anonymous said...

I don't know whether to laugh or cry, Blobbie! So many memories........so many memories......we were just a bunch of kids............our first gold album.............anyhooo.......... I don't know anything about the sound of the euphonium attracting moose, but let me tell you; quite simply, Freida couldn't say no to the sound of the euph(wink, wink!!!). With respect, she was the libidinous one, if you're pickin' up what I'm puttin' down, as we say in jazz (It's ok, we were just cousins)!! It was a crazy ride!!! And then, like so many successful pop stars, she was lying dead in a (big) pool of her own vomit (I guess that's why I just can't deal with "full-figured" gals anymore, Blobbie!!). That very night, with the help of two good buddies, Ol' Grandad and Jim Beam, I wrote the song that made Conway Twitty famous-"The Silent Tambourine (there's another Angel in Heaven tonight)". But that was a long time ago, in a world far away -life does go on, eh Blob? To answer your question, would we really be better off (without the velvety sound of the euphonium)? let me quote some lyrics from one of my favourite songs from the 1966 TV special The Wilsons play for Lovers Only Valentine Extraveganza featuring Patty Duke. "Yes, I may dream a million dreams, but how can they come true, if there will never ever be another euph......" I suspect that settles it, eh Blobbie?? Thanks for the memories ( you may not be the world's most famous Jew, but you certainly are the most important, journalistically speaking!!!)!!!

Anonymous said...

What are we...chopped liver!!??!!
Let it be duly noted that significant umbrage has been taken.

Anonymous said...

Screw Mike!!! Fuck him!!! Dapper my ass!!! He always was a self-important loud-mouth (oh, I'm soooo important!!!)!!! Freida loved ME!!! And I've still got the genital warts to prove it!!! I could show you pictures, but I hear that's frowned on these days on the Blob.

slapper58 said...

Mikester, I'm so sorry to have stirred up that old hornet's nest of sibling rivalry. I always remember Buddy as the runt of the litter who developed a biting humor to compensate for his perceived shortcomings. The Ringo Starr to your Paul, the Tommy Smothers to your Dick.
I thought it was all an act but now,years later, I know better.