Channukah is here again. In fact we're almost half way through as tonight we light the 4th of 8 candles on the menorrah, the traditional holiday candelabra. Take a look back at the archives from dec.12 2006 for the original dreidel ad and then read on to see what my sponsor has come up with for this year's model. It's all very exciting!"There are dreidels and there are dreidels and then there is this year's SpinMaster 3000 v.2 Exxxtreme model which keeps all of the original's treasured features and schmeers on a thick layer of hi tech extras that'll have the competition choking on their own phlegm!!"
So begins the latest rave review from the December edition of Tech Times.
Yes this is a new dreidel but not to worry....the same Swiss bevelling, gyroscopic action, and floating beryllium core are back. The craftsmen at Hyman's Judaica along with a team of engineers from Israel's Technion University have spared no expense in fashioning a dreidel for the cyber generation and let's just say this baby isn't made of clay!!
OK, the specs:
- 4 x 1.8" LCD screens with HD capability
- 4 x USB ports for all your peripherals
- A state of the art GPS system with satellite friendly hub axis
- WiFi ready with fold out keypad and stylus
Even if you're not Jewish this is the must have tech toy of the season. Stand back Nintendo Wi, move aside Play Station 3; There's a new kid on the block.....he's bad and he's circumcised!!
Not kvelling yet??? Maybe you should see a doctor or a mortician better!
16 comments:
Dear Blob,
I was lamenting with Maria C. yesterday how the posts on your blog are not coming in with any regularity these days. I guess we could attribute this to what I call the "The Holiday Blobs". Sad to see so many fine contributors shirking their duties simply because they are Christmas shopping, or even God forbid, working!
I say: awake from your slumber, ye sluggards and dog-$?*%ers! We need our entertainment!
As for the topic of adjectives, don't get me started; verbal acuity is at a perilously low ebb. Not only that, people doesn't tlak so good no more! Or spell neither.
As for annunciation, forget it! People have watched so much TV that their idea of how speech should sound has been coloured by the soft slurry articulations coming off the idiot box and forget to articulate their speech so they can be understood. Then those poor schmoes are put on TV, and in a endless loop, influence other doofi to speak in an even more unintelligible manner.
Oy!
Once again thanks to Blobbie for his most excellent, erudite and estimable posts! I doff my hat to you, blobeleh! Your corner of the internet world is strictly top-drawer!
BTW,
do you take pay pal for the SpinMaster 3000 v.2 Exxxtreme? There are som lucky little kids in my house who are going to get a really nice surpise this festivus season!
I know a couple of days went by without a post and yes a spate of Yule work is to blame ('tis the season!!). The lamenting Maria C will be glad to know that I've also braved the hell of Christmas shopping.....her stocking isn't going to stuff itself now, is it?
Bottom line: I've been busy but not too busy to feel guilty about abandoning my small but discerning audience (even if it was only 2 days).
Anyways PB thanks for the encouragement and the astute commentary on public speaking(there's no spiral like a downward spiral!)
Oh yeah...the SpinMaster 3000 v.2 Exxxtreme. You know how the ads that say "You don't have to be Jewish to enjoy the SpinMaster". Well it turns out you do (who knew??) Sorry.
Dear Bobeleh,
The chiding wasn't directed at you. I figure a day or two off is good for you; allowing you to recharge you comic batteries and return ready to quip.
No, I was talking about the gold-bricking sluggards Mikexxxster, Dixxx, Mama C and the Beave, not to mention Paradise Girl. Aloha, baby, where are you?
What's going on, Blobber?!?! I'm a little surprised and more than a little miffed about the previous post vis a vis "your" concert with the great Roberta Flack---surely your vast audience (ha! ha! just kidding!!) would WANT TO KNOW that two of your most illustrious correspondents were also playing the same gig. WHY WAS THIS NOT STATED?!?!?! The TRUTH MUST BE TOLD!! YES!! Party Bear esq. and Mikesxxxxter were essential cogs in a performance that thrilled thousands!!! WHY WAS THIS SIMPLE TRUTH NOT MADE PUBLIC????? WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO HIDE??? Your suspicious "interview" (as interesting as it was) with "La Flack" (it sounds better in French) may or may not have happened-I wasn't there- while you were supposedly "rubbing shoulders" with Roberta, I was in another dressing room with a very pretty back-up singer from the Bertie Higgins band - and it wasn't shoulders that were being rubbed, if you catch my drift!!! I take no pleasure in chastising you Blob, but it must be said: we your fans ask for THE TRUTH-nothing more, nothing less!!! Blobbie!!! THE TRUTH!!!!!!
Don't worry PB. I didn't feel chided, not even for a minute and I knew who your comments were directed at. I was mostly concerned with the lamentations of Maria C. (also the name of my next oratorio) She is after all my sporadic muse who's recent spewing of shreddies, while flattering, didn't really give me much material to work with. It's the end of the semester so I guess she's busy "laying the foundation for her future" or some other lame excuse. Ok then! off to chastize Mikexxxster.
Dearest Mikexxxster,
Speaking of flack is that what I'm supposed to be for you and Mr. PB??? Get your own publicist buddy!!
To be honest though I did think of mentioning that the 2 of you were there but there's an art to being concise (maybe it's time for me to dandle you on my knee and tell you all about it) and unfortunately you and PB esq. ended up on the cutting room floor.
Nice that you hit it off so well with the back up singer. Sure she was hot but she had "trailer trash" written all over her. My brother is a doctor....if you need penicillin or de-crabbing powder just say the word!
OK blobbafiles. If you're all going to be "Flacking off" over the holidays, I'm coming for a visit.
I've booked Tremblant (solo) for New Years' Eve 'til the following Saturday. Time to get those new skiis of mine schussing down the slopes and I'm thinking of heading your way the day before.
I figure if I hit "La Ville" on Dec 30th, I can slap you all silly in person, get up early and head up to Tremblant to get in a day's skiing before the New Years Eve revelry begins.
Anybody up for dinner/drinks/party or just a quiet game of gin rummy on the 30th? It will have to be civilized as I have to have my wits about me for "La Grande Montagne" the next day (well, it's big hill for a Torontonian......).
The younger TorontoMave says be may join me up in Tremblant mid-week after he parties hearty with his buds in TO on New Year Eve/Day....whennever.
The resident bone player is holding down the home fort - has his usual gig on New Years Eve.....
Toronto Mave,
Count me in. We would love to have you. Looking forward to the slapfest!
Love,
P.B.
Man, a person can't take a couple of days off to xmas shop and clean the bathroom without getting reamed out by the usual holier-than-thou punsters. People, you need to take the hockey sticks out of your butts and get into the xmas spirit! Get off the computer and go spend some money (especially you PB, you saw my wish list!)! Once you're sufficiently broke and are stark-staring mad due to the crowds of gaunt, hollow-eyed fellow-shoppers bumping into you as they aimlessly (and miserably) pick up and stare at useless and meaningless crap, their brows furrowed deeply, as they try to match said crap with some probably undeserving giftee on their list, come back and tell me about your excursions and adventures, but no more complaining about people not writing at length or pithily on this Blob! Or you'll get another one like this!!
Oy Blobbie!
I have had my dance card filled up here in Paradise - Tues, party, Thurs, Fri,and Sat. never mind preparing a couple of nasty exams for my students. The precious off time I had were devoted to f'ing the dog at the beach boosted with a few rum (okay many) punches. No time for shopping, but what shopping, as Mama C knows of the little extent of that there is on this rock.
Now for the morphed gossip mill on this island! I got hip checked into the swimming pool early on in the evening while dancing at the Fri night party. Yup, I was in full party regalia, jewels, nice hair-do and all. The hostess of said gig was right there, helped yank me out of the pool, frog-marched me to her bedroom and sorted out a lovely frock for me to don. I was a little worried given that she is probably a size 2 and I'm an 8...she found me a nice stretchy number and off I went to hit the dance deck yet again albeit at a goodly distance from the edge of the pool! Anyway, on Sunday the rumour mill had already heard my sad, wet story, "Did you guys hear that Laura got pissed drunk at Heartshorn's and fell into the pool?" Aacckk! I guess by today I'll have been pissed, crawled into the pool naked with some guy on my arm... Oy, the joys of a small community.
I will revel in the big city despite, the ass chilling cold and snow up to the tits, just to get away fom this even for a paltry 8 days. Start shaking the martinis!
Paradisegirl
Geez, did you read mama c.'s comment. Ouch! Who knew menopause could turn someone into a raving bitch! But I have to say, she made me proud. I couldn't ream you guys out like that if I tried since you'd all just hit right back with a nasty comment on my love life (or lack of one ha! ha!) or whatever other flaws I have (I can't recall them all at the moment since the alcohol i.v. I had hooked up to me last night left me with a little less than half my regular wit (which wasn't much to begin with right? ha! ha!). All in all, keep up the good work mummy! I'm to go drink more coffee and pretend I care about my exams.
Hi Paradise Gal,
Thanks for the update. Wish we were there.
Martinis have been flowing for a while, and I magine we will have a fresh stock when you come home to the big town.
To Mama C- most impressive, give in to your hatred and join me on the dark side. It is your Density!
to Maria- remember about the $40,00 per year! You don't need to care up here. Education is practically free, so it's really kind of your responsibility to do a half-assed job!!!
I know I did, until I went o Northwestern...
Fat lot of good it did! I'm still in music!
Bravo Mama C. I couldn't have said it better if I tried! There is nothing more soul sucking than Christmas shopping which is why I like being on the periphery....I guess what I'm trying to say is, it's great to be a Jew at Christmas (cue bouncy vamp):
Oh it's great to be a Jewish guy at Christmas
With Christian friends who shoulder all the work.
I eat their food and drink their booze
I haven't got a thing to lose
I can kick right back and be a f**kin' jerk!
Let the Gentiles deck their halls
and lose their minds in shopping malls
Let them fuss and cook and clean
before I show up at the scene
I'm one little drummer boy
who's glad he wasn't born a goy
at least for several days each Christmas tiiiiiime
Oh it's great to be a Jewish guy at Christmas
with Christian friends who shoulder all the work!!
Bravo to you too Mikexxster for guilting so many people into writing in to The Blob. I think we have a great good cop/bad cop thing going here!!
To everyone else you know how much I appreciate your commentary. Feel free to write in as often as you want but I wouldn't wait too long. Mikexxster is a bit of a loose cannon and if you ask me just a touch loco. I wouldn't want to piss him off because when he gets out of control it can get ugly. All things considered,I think you'd rather be dealing with me.
Post a Comment