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Sunday, September 07, 2008

MMMMM Cold Turkey!!!

This may have to be brief....the night staff is just coming on and I managed to get into an unused office. Still there will be mentors, janitors, and nurses lurking so let's get right down to it. I'm sorry....there I said it!! I apologize for being weak, caving into temptation and leaving all my readers in the lurch and what's worse, with that Nan Wilkinson creature.

I agreed to be part of that Better Homes and Gardens contest with the honest intention of increasing my readership but then the bad luck hit. You'd think that my editors in tandem with the magazine people would have done a better job at vetting my replacement and get someone who thinks a little more like I do but noooo...they had to get get some right wing Betty Crocker type and there's more. A simple google search would have indicated her German heritage (and I have nothing against the German people except the Holocaust and David Hasselhoff). It took me 30 seconds to find out that her maiden name was Goring, changed from Goerring, and while she was not related to the infamous nazi Hermann I still find it unsettling, especially in my fragile state.

Her grandfather, a traveling vaudevillian, went by the stage name of Baron Von Guggenheimer and performed as part of a comedy duo with the famed Jewish singing cowboy "Tuck" Weiner, so named for the habit of protecting his family jewels on stage after an unfortunate incident with a can-can dancer.
I'm not sure when I'll be able to get to a computer again but rest assured that I'll post. I've been clean for a week now and can go as much as two hours without anagramming in my head. To keep us from thinking about words they show us a lot of porn and give us nachos and it seems to be working!! Maybe I'll have a little look-see at my Facebook page while I'm here...see how my friends are doing....I wonder who's doing well in Scramble since I left??
Anyways....oh shit somebody's coming...gotta g


bonemikexxster said...

Blobeleh, I'm sure that I speak for your many, many (OK, not that many ((Ha! Ha! just fooling!))) fans when I say that we are with you all the way in this, your TITANIC STRUGGLE OF A LIFETIME!!! Get well soon!!! We want you back in the saddle; riding herd, separating the wheat from the chaff (as it were), literarily speaking!!!
That BITCH, Nan Whatsername, is obviously a lazy, nose-picking slut of the highest ordure (get it??)!! Clearly; she has NO interest in the Blob!!! What could be more important than The Blob?????? Her loser husband, (Mr. Flaccid) Jim ??????? What a joke!!!!! It is to laugh, Blobbie!!!!! I would NEVER say "I told you so", but.......(you're a human being!!'re flesh and blood!!)....................................... it's OK, Blobbie!!!!!
Anyhooo, Blobber, what's a five letter word for "female pudenda" (Br.), beginning with the letter "M"? Ha! Ha! Again with the fooling and the kibitzing!!!! Ain't we got fun, Blobber?!?!?!?! Good luck with the rehab, and get well soon!!!!!!! yer pal, Bonemikester!!!!

slapper58 said...

Thanks for the warm get well wishes Mikester. Having Nan at the helm should be motivation enough for me to stick with the program but I must admit to slipping up a bit earlier when I got a hold of that computer. It was a false alarm as night nurse I feared would find me was just a janitor who walked past the office I was holed up in. Moments later I was playing Scramble despite myself and it's as though I'm back to square one (eon, no, oe,on,en). Pray for me......

morning guy bonemikester said...

Hey, Blobbie! Thanks for the very kind Morning Guy Bonemikester, I was a little nervous about reading your response to last night's post.....that was, of course, Evening Guy Bonemikester flying high, oh, so high (I mean, really!! "female pudenda"????? What was he thinking??? What's up with that????)!!!!
As Morning Guy Bonemikester (even though it's almost 11:00PM) I must say; and I'm sure that you'll agree with this; ol' EGB is not easy to keep in check!!!
Anyway, Blobeleh, both EGB and I wish you a quick return to the helm of the Good Ship Blob, before the all-too-absent-from-the- bridge Captain (very pro tem, one hopes!!) Nan Queeg accidentally runs Her aground on the rocky shoals of Blinkered, Uptight, Tight-Assed Christian Certitude, or provokes a mutiny (it's even up which comes first!)!!!
Nobody wants that!!!! Certainly not Maria Callous (God!! She's HOT!!!! EGB)!!!
I'm so sorry about that, Maria!!! Really (no he's not! EGB)!!! Yes I am!!!! MGB
All the best, Blobber (from the both of us!!!)!!

erik hongisto said...

Someone needs some action!

Nan Wilkinson said...

Someone certainly does and please, as a righteous woman I say this with all due respect but isn't one of these BoneMikexxster fellows enough?? Surely I can't be the only one who finds him rude and annoying beyond words. If I were a betting woman (which I'm not) I'd certainly place a dollar or two on him being a teenager or at the most 20. He should get a job ASAP.

Anonymous said...

Said the homemaker to the trombonist.