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Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Katie on CBS....35 Days and Counting

You've already heard the news no doubt: Dan Rather is out as anchor of the CBS Evening news and Katie Couric is in as of September 7th. She signed the contract worth a reported 65 million not too long ago and after a teary farewell on the Today Show she sort of disappeared. It's no secret that I'm rather fond of the pixyish newswoman so her absence has troubled me enough to find out where she's gone.

I did find out but before we get to that I must say that I had some reservations about this bold move by CBS. Look at that picture of Rather looking every inch the hardened newsman. He of the smoke filled conference room hashing out last minute details before airtime. He of the desert coloured flack jacket, on assignment in Afghanistan embedded with the Mujehaddin. Now look at sweet Katie....the perky girl next door with the killer legs. Will America buy the news from her?? Obviously if I'm asking this question then so are some execs at CBS who may have had second thoughts. That is why Katie has been holed away at a sort of "Gravitas Boot Camp" for the last 3 weeks. (GRAVITAS: substance, weightiness: a serious demeanor) Reports of jowl implants are untrue but she has received botox to tone down the irrepressible grin and undergoes daily beatings by a team of Laotians. "We don't want to hurt her" assures head honcho Sean MacManus "but she does need toughening up. Katie objected at first but then....well... there's that contract. Anyways, she heals beautifully. Come September 7th she'll hit the ground running and this will all have been forgotten."
The stage is set, the countdown is on and I have confidence that the re-education of Katie will have the desired effect. Now I can start worrying about Meredith Viera who will be replacing Couric on the Today Show. Viera is a seasoned TV personality but she IS replacing a legend. Those will be some awfully small and expensive shoes to fill.....only time will tell. As always trust the Blob to keep you up to date on the vital news of the day.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

For someone who claims to love and honour Katie
so much, you sure chose an odd photo of her to
display. I mean, come ON. Her eyes look close
enough together to suggest inbreeding. And her teeth! Can someone in the room perform a phrenectomy, like, now? [I mean, come ON]