Say it ain't so Michael Phelps. The American olympic wunderkind is all over the news of late with the recently released photo of him and a bong of some sort, allegedly used for the purpose of inhaling marijuana. His gold medal haul made him an instant international idol to adults as well as legions of kids and now his millions of dollars worth of endorsement deals appear to be in jeopardy. No....not because of a harmless toke, that actually shows that he's cool, according to most ad execs The Blob was able to contact.
My sources at the British rag; News of the World, have sent me tomorrow's front page and it's a doozie!! Apparently the college party Phelps was attending had more than its fair share of marching band geeks and the swimming star, blitzed out of his mind, grabbed a euphonium (possibly a baritone...at press time this was still unclear) and made a complete fool of himself.
He already has a look that some say is a bit doofusy and paired with one of the more lame instruments.....well....companies have been jumping off the Phelps band wagon like fleas off a flaming vole.
He has already issued a statement fresh on the heels of yesterday's grass related one and here it is, reprinted for readers of The Blob:
"I admitted yesterday that my marijuana use was a youthful mistake and will not be repeated, unfortunately the same cannot be said for my ill conceived use of a euphonium. In what amounts to a complete lapse in judgement and good taste I now realize that I have let down so many and may have done irreparable damage to my marketable image as a cool, wildly successful, olympian.
I suppose I could blame the whole unfortunate episode on a childhood marred by sexual abuse and alcoholic parents but this would be too easy. Something else is at play here and I will take the next several months to do some serious soul searching before I am ready to return to the public spotlight. Tomorrow you will see a picture of me playing a euphonium and you will
thing that I'm a gigantic dork. I understand...please forgive me."