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Monday, March 22, 2010

Wow, They Did It Again.

Americans, almost despite themselves, have somehow done the right thing again, even when the right thing is a left thing...universal health care. One of the most important and historic pieces of legislation in US history passed yesterday through the senate with all the ease and grace of a pea sized kidney stone.

Of course the really important news of the day was that Tiger Woods granted two short, one on one interviews. The first with the very hot Golf Channel personality, Kelly Tilghman...the second, with some guy.

Tiger has cost the PGA, and anyone associated with professional golf, untold millions of dollars with his philandering ways. When he's not around public interest drops way off and as such the choice of Tilghman as interviewer has the faint odor of revenge. After all, the Golf Channel sending a sexy, very white, woman to interview the straying golfer is like MTV sending a lit crack pipe to interview Amy Winehouse.

To his credit, Tiger managed to hold it together for the first interview but was clearly distracted during the 2nd.

Thanks to The Blob's "thought cam" we can get a better look at what was actually going on.

Man, if ever the "thought cam" fell into the wrong hands, eh??!!

And so Tiger Woods continues on his tortuous path towards redemption as his country, led by another world famous Mulatto ( that not the right term these days?), passes a bill that assures that no family will be denied care for their autistic child's pre-existing condition or will be bankrupted (or worse) because of astronomical costs. The crazy right, you know; Limbaugh, Palin, Beck, Hannity, the Tea Partyers etc. are still mightily peeved that they lost the last election and that their fear mongering was soundly repudiated. Now this, and just when they thought they had something going again. The rhetoric and litigious nitpicking will now be ratcheted up and if you're not careful you may be swayed by the lies and vitriol. Watch Jon Stewart and stay the course! (this is a tour de force....Glen Beck will never be the same)


Ann Coulter said...

I have no idea who you are (and, trust me on this... I don't care!), of course, but I'll take a stab at it... clearly; you are some sort of commie-pinko, God-hating mouth-breather... you probably hug trees in your (all-too-plentiful) spare time, and have never, ever fired a gun in your sorry, sorry life... you're soft on crime, and hard-on your boyfriend. I wouldn't be surprised if you're from Connecticut, or possibly Canada. However, I will admit that your blog is mildly amusing, in a sophomoric, puerile way...

But enough with these pleasantries... I have six points to make:

1. Tiger Woods is not all that he's cracked up to be (I'm NOT talking about his golf game).

2. Most certainly; neither is Barak bin Ladin... sorry; I mean Osama bin Obama.

3. Under the bin Obama administration, America is DYING(!!), like a post-coital penis (see point No. 1).

4. You are almost certainly a homosexual, bacon eating Jew.

5. Your list of political commentators from the "crazy right" doesn't include me.

6. Why not?

Mr. Montgomery Burns said...

Hello. Blobbers. You. are. quite good. at. turning. me. on...

President Obama said...

Fuck Ann Coulter.

Everyman said...

HELLO.........!! ANYBODY HOME???

Umm, Blob? Far be it from me to tell you how to run what is, after all, your own blog... but shouldn't you be, like, a kind of host/moderator type of dude here?

You know, commenting on the comments, commenting on the commentators, that kind of thing? Kind of like, jollying everything along? If you don't care about your blog, why should anyone else? Just asking...

I like to think that I've been holding up my end of the deal (NEWS FLASH... YES!!! I am PHil McCrackin; I am Father M. O'Lester AND Ann Coulter...), an occasional response wouldn't hurt, you know...

This is about as exciting as kissing my Grandma... and she's been dead for 30 years...

Time to move on, I guess... via con Dios, el Blobo...

slapper58 said...

Grandma?? that you????
But seriously, you mean to tell me that all those finely wrought characters come from the same mind? Why, this can be none other then my old nemesis, The Chameleon!!
Can it be that in resurrecting The Blob I've also resurrected one of the most dastardly and cunning villains this side of Hades?
Thought to have perished after his lengthy banishment to the Isle of Doomed Souls, The Chameleon, that most demonic of shape shifters, is back!!
Man, woman, liberal, conservative,
hick, blue blood, child, child guise is left unassumed.
Mark my words though. I will not rest until this pestilence of a man is brought to justice. But where to begin...think man, think!

UnderworldPrincess said...

Ya, our bad. Sorry Blob, looks like Lenny was sleeping on the job when he was supposed to be keeping a close watch on your "nemesis" (that's an "uh-oh" word down here). I'm trying to keep it on the down-low--I'm not supposed to bother the Big Man unless it's "really, REALLY, important".

The Chameleon said...

Well... I see that my dastardly ruse has worked yet again!!! Bwahahahaha!! Nemesis in deed, indeed!!!

Will you never learn, Blob? Will you never understand that you are no match for The Chameleon? You've a very high price to pay, my friend... but you'll pay... ohhh!!!... you'll pay!!!

Oh, I know that some people think of me as nothing more than a pathetic, walking, talking (and prolix, too, they say... BASTARDS!!!) example of "multiple personality disorder"... but I'll show them, Blob, I swear... I'LL SHOW YOU ALL!!!!!!

BTW, Phil McCrackin, Tobias Funke and Father M. O'Lester think that you are absolutely, TOTALLY hot... and, I gotta say... once you get to know us, we're a great bunch of guys! What should I tell us about that? You game? Forget about Ms. Coulter, though... a very cold fish... although, something tells me she's got a "thang" for UnderworldPrincess... don't ask how I know...

Keep your wits about you, Blob... the game's afoot...!!!

Jesus H. Christ said...

No wonder you've only got one Follower, you sorry excuse for a blogger... in case you haven't heard, Blobeleh, I had twelve (12!!!) Followers!!! TWELVE!!!

You wanna know why??? Because from cock-crow to sun-down, I was about My Father's Business, non-stop... you know, walkin' on water, castin' out evil spirits, healin' the sick... why, once, I even brought a dead man back to life!!! No, I'm not shittin' you... you think THAT didn't take some time, Crissakes (it's OK if I take My Own Name in vain...!!!)??? It's called makin' the EFFORT, you lazy, fuckin' bastard!!!

It's all about puttin' in the time, and givin' 110%, my sorry friend... if My Father and I followed your pathetic example, do you REALLY believe We could have made this Perfect World in seven (7!!!) days??? IMPOSSIBLE!!! SEVEN DAYS, Blob, think about it!!!

Shape up, my sorry friend... oh, it's true that in My Father's Heaven there are many Mansions... but I assure you, they must be earned... EARNED, Blobbbie!!! Know what I'm sayin'???

David said...

Dear Jebus,

Where were you when I was a church-going lad? I might still be in Church now!

Jesus H. Christ said...

Let Me tell you; it's none of your damned beeswax where I was, David... I'm The Fucking Son of God, for Fuck's Sake!!! You think I have time for the likes of you??? You think I don't have a universe to run??? What... I'm a Lazy Fucker all of a sudden...??? Fuck you, David!!!

Yeah... you might still be in church now... that's a good one... blame Me!!! Like, if I had been paying more attention, Pope Ratzenfucker XVI and his stinky, priapic, goatish underlings wouldn't have diddled all those choirboys... that's rich, Duddy, rich!!!

What are you all of a sudden, My Father in Heaven??? A Guy can't take a little time off now and then, take a little R&R without being hassled by a know-it-all dumb-ass meshuggener??? You've never heard the expression "The Lord works in mysterious ways, His wonders to perform", you fuck-ass little putz??? You think "those wonders" just happen, just like that??? There are wheels within wheels, my ignorant, sorry friend!!! It's time you knew that...

SCREW YOU, DUVIDAL!!! I swear... you're THIS CLOSE to roasting in Hell!!! I MEAN IT!!! And, just so you know... every time a lost soul in Hell screams in agony, an Angel in Heaven has an orgasm...!!! Is it any wonder My Angels love Me so?!?!?!?

Yours in Christ (ha ha! I LOVE saying that!!)


Jesus H. Christ said...

Two Followers now, eh Blob? Look at YOU!!!

All I can say is, if one of them is Judas Iscariot, keep you eyes open!! AND DON'T LET HIM KISS YOU!!!!!


David said...

Thanks Jebus. I am duly rebuked!

Jesus H. Christ said...

OK, then!

But just so you know the rules of the game,
two strikes and you're out. End of story.

Jack Donaghy said...

This is boring. I'm bored now.