Search This Blog

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Alright Already!!

The Blob has been experiencing a noticeable dearth of posts of late, possibly due to the convergence of solar flares, solstice related depression and my moratorium in protest of the tiny stickers they put on individual pieces of fruit.
More likely still is the fact that of late I have been experiencing the joys, agonies, and absurdities of the dating world in all their time consuming glory!
What to do then...leave my loyal readership in the lurch (how can I do that to such a nice guy anyways??!!) as I pursue my own interests or find a compromise position where I can experience the thrill of dating without any of the messy inconvenience. Cue my old pal Troy Huber and his latest business venture. Take it away Troy:

We all aspire to hot babes even as we languish comfortably in our parents' basements. There are so many good shows, so little time. DVDs to catch up on, don't even get me started on comics yet unread, and many as yet unfinished PlayStation 3 projects (exploring the mythical land of Tamriel in Elder Scrolls IV for instance...danger around every norklak!!!) So what of the babes and of "getting out there"?? Of course with computer dating many opportunities are today, merely a click away. But to paraphrase SpiderMan "with great opportunity comes great responsibility" so setting up a date involves getting washed and dressed and actually facing the dreaded spectre of rejection. As far as fear goes, battling Mordleegs in the time dungeon pales in comparison!!
Then it came to me, what if I set up a date with a woman so hot, so unattainable, that I could back out at the last minute fully confident that it was the right thing to have done, and what if I set up a site for the millions of guys like me to have and miss the same impossible opportunity!!!??

And so was born my next business venture: Intimi-Date. Simply fill out your profile and peruse the hundreds of women that we match you with...all laughably and completely out of reach. The rest we leave up to you!!!!

1 comment:

troy huber said...


I know you're busy, and we should take whatever posts you give us, and that this one is funny and clever as always, BUT when the hell did you start writing in the voice of your readers' characters?

I honed the Troy Huber brand, I focus-grouped the SHIT out of it, spent months developing it. You can't just say "take it away Troy" and "be" Troy. I'M Troy.

Fuck you.