Paradise Girl said:
Ah Maria, if you're going to take the Blob in a contest at least make it a fair one!!! You know he has forsaken drinking booze so choose another talent like a bake off or eating him under the table.
This excerpted comment, courtesy of Turks or Caicos resident Paradise Girl, will help me illustrate Good Quality #3. You see...the Maria she refers to is none other than Blob regular Maria Callous, the young and voluptuous daughter of 2 dear friends, also habitual Blobites.
The comment presented me with a moral dilemma in the guise of a fabulous straight line, i.e. the last 5 words. An innocuous, idiomatic expression sure enough but at just a slightly different angle all sorts of images of another type of interesting contest emerge.
I've decided to take the high road and forsake all manner of crude punchlines because I think of young Maria as my daughter or niece or at very least the perverted, sinful, daughter or niece I never had. In so doing I am displaying TACT, the very quality that seperates us from the wild beasts that populate the land, sea and sky of our fragile planet.
TACT is the art of appropriate behaviour and timing, discernment, and context are its essence.
A chimp, for instance, has no qualms about eating his own excrement in public but most of us wouldn't be caught dead engaging in such a vile demonstration.
I won't take the bait Paradise Girl and any suggestions, even of the "golden straight line" variety, about having Maria "eat me under the table" have fallen on deaf and tactful ears.
Let me be an example to us all!!
5 comments:
And I thought that last one was a stretch...
HEY!!! I have at the most 2 good qualities...you try coming up with this stuff!!
THUS SAYETH THE LORD......................................THE BONEMIKESXXXTER HATH RETurNED TO THE BLOB, AND LO; THE BLoB IS EXALTED!!!!!!!!!!! THUS, THE LoRD SAyeTH; ALL HAIL BONEMIKSXXXTrE*!!!!!!!!!
Ha! Ha! Hey, Blobbie!!! Just kidding (no; really!!!)!!! Without going into the wherefore or why, it's been too long, my good friend, too long!!!
I'm readin' the Blob again, and I'M LOVIN' IT!!!!!!
One small cavaet though, ol' buddy, is that another of your prodigal readers, by using copious exclamation points a couple of posts back, is somehow worthy of great praise......... meanwhile, I have suffered abuse, mockery and "the slings and arrows of WHATEVER!!!" for the very same literary device....... what's up with that, Blobber?????? Surely your editorial staff can do better than this????? Just asking, Blobbie, ol' pal......
BONEMIKEXXXSTER (Ha! Ha! Just kidding!!!((not really!!!)))
*we all know that "THE LORD" is less than perfect, eh? If we all cut Him a bit of slack, He'd probably be less of an Asshole..............
Please marry me Maria.
A small puppy.
Maria, a small puppy wants to marry you. Think about it, it could be the BEST offer you ever get! Puppies are obviously much easier to take care of than husbands of the human variety. For instance, you can train them to do your bidding, and you can't always be sure of that with human husbands. Puppies'll love you unconditionally, no questions asked, no jealousy, no going drinking with the boys til late at night (for example, Party Bear is out right now with some low-life brass players and who knows when he'll be home reeking of gin and cigarettes!). Give it serious thought, Maria!
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