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Monday, August 18, 2008

Medal Mayhem (screw you Togo!!,take that Uzbekistan!!!)

Little Known Blog Spurs Canadian Medal Haul

CP Aug. 18-Beijing

An obscure blogger known only as "Blob" has apparently done what no amount of goodwill and encouragement could and the Canadian olympic team is the better for it.

In a scathing post earlier this week The Blob rebuked Canadian olympians for their lackadaisical display while lauding Togo for their bronze in kayak.

"We regularly monitor the blogs" said chef de mission Sylvie Bernier "including those censored by the Chinese government....that's where we came across The Blob and quite frankly we were appalled, especially when we traced it back to Canada!"

Said Blob spokesboy Troy Huber; " was true what we said and now they have 9 medals. Figure it out. Can you move??? You're blocking my new 47 inch LCD....Ma-aaa!!"
Ed. note: While we in no way claim responsibility for the recent Canadian successes it does seem a bit strange that they should come hot on the heels of the last post. Coincidence or direct consequence? Figure it out.


Proud Mama C said...

Thanks, Blob, for your no less than heroic measures to get Canada on the podium! I can speak for the ROC (AND Quebec!)when I say we are SUPER excited about the leap forward by our wonderful athletes. My personal favourite is Ian Miller. What an inspiration to the old folks, winning his first medal at 61. You've still got a few years to equal his feat, Mikexxxter! Is skipping an Olympic sport yet?? You could kick ass there!

mixed-up mikexxxster said...

Well done, Blobbie!! You've rescued the "amour-propre" of our sometimes great nation! I've no doubt that it was your severe and unsparing criticism that did the trick!! "There is a tide in the affairs of men", blah, blah, blah.......(boy, that Shakespeare did go on, didn't he??)!!!
On behalf of a grateful country, THANK YOU, BLOBBER!!!
One small quibble, however. Are you quite sure that the word "lackadaisical" is the word that you're looking for? A quarter-century ago, during our Saturday morning soft-ball games, a fellow whom I will refer to as "Doctor Asshole", whenever he felt someone or other was not giving 110% for the team, would often shout out, "pretty lacksadasial out there!!!" Surely "lacksadalial" is the word you were looking for, Blob??
I only mention this because this "Dr. A", as he was affectionatly known, was so supremely confident that he once banged on an aquaintence's (a very pretty woman) door late at night, and said, (I'm not making this up!) in reply to her question as to why he was there, "you know what I want" (alcohol may have played some small part in this sorry tale.......)!!!!!!!
Personally, ol' Blobeleh, I admire that kind of confidence........just imagine the "Bolero" I could play with that kind of swagger!!!!! So is it "lackadaisical", or is it "lacksadaisial"?
One final thought, dear Blobbie; "Dr. A" thought that education was "so inimportant!!". What do you think??? A sadly confused Mikexxxster

blushing mikexxxster said...

Thanks for the kind words, Mamma C!! Is it any wonder that I love you (in the Platonic sense, of course!!)???? Yes, I'm sure that I could, as you say, "kick ass" at the Olympics ( thanks to "Dr. Asshole's Get What You Want Now!!!!!!!!!"* correspondence course)!!! But as we all know; that is not "The Mikexxxster Way"!! But aren't you sweet!!!!! I'm hardly preening at all (just kidding!!((not really!!!)))!!

* A Division of Carl Weathers and Associates, Inc.

Maria Callous said...

I don't care about the Olympics and I get grilled for it almost daily. Well, fuck you all!!

However, Alex Despatie is the hottest man on the face of the Earth, and possibly, in the Universe. I want to do him like it's 1999.

Anonymous said...

You mean you want to do him like you were 12 years old? That's kinda creepy...

Maria Callous said...

I was 13. And dead sexy.

slapper58 said...

I actually had a gym teacher tell me I was being too "lacksadaisy" once and for once in my life didn't offer an immediate and helpful correction.
Speaking of survival, the long "summer of their discontent" is coming to an end for Blobophiles worldwide. I'll be taking to the air tomorrow morning for the return flight home and should be up and posting "hi-speed" style within a day or two.
Go Canada Go!!!

Mama C. said...

Hey, what gives, Blobele?? You've been home for literally hours (if not days) and no new posts? If we don't read something soon I am going to have to report you to a certain recovery program, known fondly as the S.S. (Scramble Survivors). I think we both know what I'm talking about.

brokenhearted ol' bonemikester said...

It's quite clear that ol' Blobbie's gone, and not coming back........... much like Ambrose Bierce, who disappeared in the wilds of Mexico about 100 years ago..............for better or worse, we, his disciples, are on our own!!!
Something tells me that Blobber would want us to carry on.......... as hard as that might seem right now, it's the right thing to do (pace, Wilfred Brimley)!!!
It's what Blobeleh would have wanted!!!!

I SPEAK FOR THE BLOB NOW (sort of, if I can find the time, and I can get my Photoshop skills up to scratch fairly quickly........the humour pretty well takes care of itself, right?))!!!!!! Don't worry, Blobbie (sniff!)!!! I'M IN CHARGE NOW!!!!!!! I'll make you so proud, ol' buddy!!!!! BLOBELEH!!! WE HARDLY KNEW YE (Dibs on Beautiful Beaver!!!!!)!!!!!!! Sad, ol' Bonemikester

Mama C said...

No kidding, Right? I mean, if Blob hasn't posted anything yet, he MUST be lost in the wilds of Mexico, or possibly Columbia.

a chastened, humble mikester said...

Like Christ's disciples after the Crucifixion, I am sure (NO!!!!! I KNOW THAT IT HAPPENED!!! FAITH IS A WONDERFUL THING!!!!!! PRAISE BLOBBIE'S NAME!!!!!!!) that I saw THE BLOBBER this very morning!!! HALLELUEAH (or however the funk you spell it!!)!!!! I KNOW that we broke bread (toast for me, a bagel for HIM! How Holy is That?!?!?! ) together (sort of like The Last Supper, but with a much cuter waitress!!! Yawzah!!!), and shared the Communal Coffee!!! Not only that, but I was also in the Presence of St. Trevor, and The Virgin Erica!!!!! You cannot make this stuff up!!! I've never felt so alive, Spiritually Speaking!!! BLOB IS GOOD!!!!!
HE showed me HIS Stigmata (HE said that they were just blisters from digging post-holes, but really; COME ON!!! HE assured me that Ste. Phyllis herself had urged Him on!!! HE said that HE was merely doing His Father's Work!!! THERE ARE NONE SO BLIND, AS THOSE WHO WILL NOT SEE!!!)
PEOPLE!!! Don't you understand?? WON'T you see??? BLOBBIE'S in Heaven now; HE wants us to be happy!!! Let us now be doing THE BLOBELEH'S Work here on Earth, so that one day, we might join HIM in Mexico, or possibly Columbia, and live Happily Ever After!!! In BLOBBER'S Name; I beseech you!!!
Come to HIM!!! Submit to HIM!!! BLOBELEH (sounds sort of like Yahweh, but way better!!!) IS KING!!!!!!!!!!! Spiritually yours, Bonemikester

Joseph Smith Junior said...


dixxx said...

And verily I say unto you, Mikexxxster speaks the truth. For not only did Blobeleh breaketh his yolk with us, but bestowed upon me the sacred goggles of beer for which to decipher the text of his holy word in the form of Scrabulous.

Let the euphoniums sound!

Thus spaketh St. Dixxx

Erica the Breakfast m├Ądchen said...

Just like the Virgin Mary, I have been touched by the Lord! (Not easy to play hard-to-get with the All-Mighty) I will soon in time give birth to a man who will change the faces on Blogs everywhere! He is an entity of middle to inferior wit, and invokes the Lord's name in all kinds of ways as often as possible. He will be named Sarcasmo! And just like Jesus, He will be born of a woman who got herself around (one of us is just better about hiding it!--You can't use that excuse twice!!)

The (not so)Virgin Erica

tobias funke said...

This Erica "the breakfast madschen" sounds positively yummy!! What a delightfully profane and naughty sense of humour!!!
Sadly, however, even the most manly of men has only so many "bullets in his six-shooter", if you catch my drift; if I wasn't so busy making sweet, sweet love to my beautiful wife all the day long, I'd be in there like a dirty shirt!! And, NO(!!!), I wouldn't just lie there!!! Sorry, Erica!! Maybe in another life!!!
Your newest admirer, Tobias

David R. Martin said...

Dear Blob,

I heard that you were recently on a recording of a wonderful theme for Hockey Night in Canada. Where might we hear this wondrous music file?

slapper58 said...

Help me
(hep,peh,hemp,hem,mel,pee, peel,lee,eme,eel,elm,helm)

Maria Callous said...


Vivian said...

eme? WTF?